On CHANGE, Changing and Moving on.. part1

Change.. inenvitable.. uncontrollable..
Isn't it wonderful? How we have the power to change the things around us? How we always have the option to be different, to change the way we have been? How we know that we have a better way out because we can change?
Change may not be easy.. It may not come when you want it.. But it's there. You're changing every second of your life.. You may not notice it, but you are.. You continue to discover things in life that make you want to change.. You may not be aware of these discoveries, but it's there.. It's imbedded in your mind, in your heart, in your soul.. You feel it.. you dream of it.. You have no choice.. You have changed.
For me, change has been a result of an accumulation of knowledge and experiences I have incurred, realizations that had blown me off my feet, and feeling.. feelings of regret, loneliness and inferiority.. One by one, bit by bit, these experiences.. these feelings.. they opened up my eyes.. I need to change.. I have to.. Soon.. Now.. I have to.. I will..

Changing.. confusion.. distraught.. happiness..
Changing doesn't mean you can forget everything that you went through in life, the way you were a few years back.. It doesn't work that way.. You.. you will still be you.. whatever happens, whatever changes.. But these changes will be meaningless.. useless.. if you forget who you are and who you have been..
Changing, for me, is a process of realizing who you are right now, how you feel about the way you are, and what you want to change about you.. You change because of who you are, because you know you can be better.. because you ACCEPT that there's something you need to change.. and because you know you have a choice..
Changing myself had taken years.. it's a step by step process that had brought me fear, confusion, sadness, and loneliness...
It had been hard. It was a lonely road that I had traveled.. Sometimes, I wanted to give up.. I didn't know if it was worth the pain, the sacrifices, the tears.. But I can't stop.. I won't stop.. I know I had to change if I want my life to become better.. I know I had to change if I want to have a different perspective in live.. I know I had to change.. I had to.. there was no other option..